From Gymnastics to Marathons: A Journey
In this episode, Alyssa and Nadia have an unexpectedly deep conversation about aging, family caregiving, and what happens when we need help but don't want to admit it.
What starts as a recap of the New York Marathon — where Nadia's gymnastics teammate ran 26.2 miles and a 78-year-old completed the race — quickly turns into a reflection on what aging looks like. Alyssa shares her concerns about her mother-in-law (Nadia's grandmother) who's struggling with the decision of what comes next: staying independent in her 5-bedroom home or accepting that she needs more support.
The conversation becomes vulnerable as Alyssa admits she doesn't understand why older people resist what seems like the obvious, logical choice. Nadia offers a different perspective — cultural expectations, personality, and the desire to maintain independence all play a role. They debate who gets to make decisions when someone needs help: the person needing care, or the caregiver? And what happens when family members disagree?
Alyssa makes Nadia promise (on the record) that when the time comes, she'll listen when her daughters say it's time to move to assisted living. They discuss the financial and emotional costs of elder care, why living with adult children often strains relationships, and the fantasy of having a trustworthy live-in caretaker in your own home. Eric's plan? If he gets dementia, just leave him in the Philippines with caretakers — a plan Alyssa firmly rejects.
The episode wraps with reflections on genetics vs. lifestyle, social media wellness culture, and whether all those expensive creams actually do anything — or just give us the illusion of control.
This is a conversation about autonomy, family dynamics, and the tension between wanting independence and needing support.
Takeaways
Aging looks different for everyone — some people run marathons at 78, others need significant help
Cultural expectations shape how we think about caring for aging parents and grandparents
When someone needs help, there's tension between honoring their autonomy and doing what's practical
Living with adult children can strain family dynamics — personal space (physical and emotional) matters
Assisted living costs are a major concern, and fear of running out of money keeps people independent longer
The "ideal" aging scenario: staying in your own home with a trustworthy caregiver
Siblings often handle caregiving decisions differently — one usually takes the lead
Longevity is more about genetics than trendy wellness routines
Social media wellness culture can overcomplicate things that used to be simple
We can't control aging, but thinking we can makes us feel better
Chapters
0:09–2:17 – New York Marathon: 78-Year-Olds and 4-Minute Miles
2:18–5:22 – What Do We Want When We're Older? Alyssa's Perspective
5:23–7:27 – Cultural Expectations and Taking Care of Aging Parents
7:28–9:26 – Who Gets to Decide? The Person Needing Help or the Caregiver?
9:27–10:42 – Will You Be Stubborn? Personality and Control
10:43–12:33 – Would You Want Your Parents to Move In?
12:34–14:22 – Personal Space and Family Dynamics
14:23–16:27 – Assisted Living Costs and Financial Fears
16:28–17:38 – Eric's Philippines Plan (And Why Alyssa Says No)
17:39–19:46 – Genetics vs. Lifestyle: What Really Determines Longevity?
19:47–20:18 – Closing
