This week Alyssa and Nadia talk about the Cornell case, two weeks after the news first broke. Nothing prepared, just a mom and her daughter saying what's been on their minds.
For Nadia, the hardest part was the fraternity brothers who saw everything in the group chat and said nothing. To her, that silence suggests this kind of thing happens more than people want to admit. Alyssa's first thought went to her own daughters in college and the things going on around them, even if none of it is happening to them directly.
That leads Alyssa to open up about the gray area, the kind of night a lot of women have had but rarely talk about. Nadia's dad told her he was glad women can speak up now. She reminded him that most of these nights never get that far.
Nadia shares Northeastern’s reaction, why the Greek life statements felt performative, and a talk with her boyfriend about feeling safe. They also get into the comments blaming the girl and the essay that was supposed to count as a punishment.
After all that, they end on a lighter note with Auntie Tina and a kids' book about anglerfish. Turns out the females are the fierce ones, and the males just hang on.
Takeaways
Staying quiet in the group chat is still a choice
Peer pressure and drinking can make almost anything feel normal
A lot of what women deal with happens in the gray area, not the headline version
We spend years teaching girls how to stay safe and a lot less time teaching boys how to act
Not much has changed since Alyssa was Nadia’s age. It’s just being recorded more
Chapters
0:10 – 4:15 Two weeks later, Nadia’s first reaction, and the group chat nobody spoke up in
4:15 – 10:19 Worrying about her own kids, frat loyalty, the gray area, and people defending the boys
10:19 – 13:36 Turning on the lights, what’s happened at Northeastern, and whether Greek life statements are performative
13:36 – 19:48 “There are good men,” the babysitter question, and talking about safety with her boyfriend
19:48 – 24:24 Blaming women’s behavior, what the school should have done, and raising sons who know better
24:24 – 27:17 Anglerfish, matriarchal societies, and how little has changed
