The Things Nobody Tells You About Dating in College
This week, Alyssa and Nadia finally get into the topic Alyssa has been trying to crack open for months, Nadia's love life. What started as a casual mention, "don't make a big deal out of this, but I'm going on a third date," has since turned into something real, and this episode is basically the full update.
Alyssa starts by breaking down the modern dating vocabulary she had to learn in real time. Where her generation had “going steady,” Nadia’s world has a whole ladder of stages, talking, dating, exclusive, official. From the outside it can feel confusing or noncommittal, but Nadia explains why those steps actually make sense and how things naturally shift as feelings change.
From there they get into how it all started. A Hinge match in February, a first date, and a third date that felt different enough that Nadia had to say something. Nadia talks about what made her nervous, not safety stuff, just the vulnerability of getting to know someone after a long stretch of being comfortable on her own. Her three roommates, all in long-term relationships, were her support system and her hype squad when the whole thing started to feel like too much.
The episode gets warmer and more reflective when Alyssa asks what made this particular person easy to talk to. Nadia points to compatible personalities and a shared Bay Area background, something she didn't realize mattered until it did. Alyssa connects it to her own relationship with Nadia's dad and how small points of connection quietly build something bigger over time. Nadia also mentions she's been missing home a lot lately, and having someone who just gets California has meant more than she expected.
The practical side gets addressed too. He graduated and moved back to the Bay Area while Nadia is still in Boston for co-op, studying for the MCATs, and figuring out her next semester. Long distance isn't the plan, it's just the current situation. But since home is the same place for both of them, it doesn't really feel like an ending, more like a pause.
The episode wraps up with Alyssa floating the idea of DMing him or his mom for a coffee date, Nadia drawing a very firm line, and a rare public shoutout to Sean, who apparently gave his blessing for all of this.
Takeaways
The modern dating timeline has more stages than previous generations had words for and that's not confusion, it's just how things work now
Going in with no expectations can actually be a healthy way to approach dating, especially when feelings genuinely evolve over time
The fear of vulnerability after a long period of being single is just as real as any other kind of dating anxiety
Having people in your corner, roommates, friends, even a very invested mom, can make the difference between giving up and giving it a shot
Shared background and cultural touchstones create an ease that's hard to explain but impossible to ignore
A situationship is only frustrating when nothing comes out of it. When something does, it just becomes the beginning
Long distance is more manageable when home is the same place for both people
There's a real difference between a parent being involved because they're pushy and a parent being involved because they genuinely want to share in the good stuff
Sometimes the reason you never talked about your dating life on the podcast is simply that there was nothing worth saying until there was
Chapters
0:10 – 1:24 — Catching Up and Setting the Stage
1:24 – 4:15 — Third Date Energy, How This All Started
4:15 – 7:00 — Dating Vocab Then vs. Now
7:00 – 9:35 — Being the Last Single One in the Apartment
9:35 – 12:00 — What Was Actually Scary About It
12:00 – 15:20 — Why He Was Easy to Talk To
15:20 – 18:10 — What Shared Background Actually Does for a Relationship
18:10 – 21:00 — Long Distance (Sort Of)
21:00 – 23:55 — Situationships, Labels, and Why Nadia Doesn't Love That Word
23:55 – 27:47 — The Official Shoutout, the Coffee Date Offer, and Signing Off
